Dear Spit heads,

This is for all those who suffer from the compulsive habit of ejecting saliva instead of swallowing it like most normal people. Specially, those who like chewing and collecting the betel nut and paan residue in their mouths for a projectile like emission directed at walls, staircases or an unsuspecting pedestrian. The world is your spittoon and the notion is revolting.

Please exercise this right you have appropriated of releasing the red colour residue in any and every direction and exercise it outside of India. I’m confident you will discover how lenient your country is compared to the others. And I trust and pray that the experience will not be enjoyable at all.

yours disgustedly,

wary pedestrian