Hello. You have become a more predictable friend now. I met you when I was suddenly introduced to loss. The sharp, sick taste of loss. Metallic, angry, harsh, incomprehensible and gut wrenchingly sad. There was no formal introduction. You just entered and settled down like a blanket. You enveloped me for a long time, so much so, that I didn’t realise you had become my second skin.
Then, one day, I recognised you clearly in my daily routine and my comfort food and my weight gain and I felt strangely relieved. At least now, I knew. From that point on, I’d observe how you would drop in from time to time, often when I least expected you. In the middle of a hearty laugh or a brilliant book or a formal dinner, you’d deliver a sucker punch in my solar plexus and I’d double up in pain. Gasping. Screaming silently. Reeling from the hit. And then you’d disappear again and I’d go back to life that would relentlessly urge me to hop on and get a move on.
So, I alternated for a while between grief and life. I learnt that as you grow older the losses pile up and the wheel turns again. And again.
Now you come and go, as and when you please. I learn to ride your crests and troughs. I learn to embrace life and treasure the love I have.
4 thoughts on “Dear Grief,”
Beautifully written. Thank you. I hope you don’t mind but I sent this to my mum. We recently lost my father, my sister and my Aunty in the space of 8 months. Your thoughts were very timely and comforting…
Sean (he of Indian Idol 5)
Hi Sean, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Death of a loved one is a personal loss and no one from the outside can know how the other is coping. I’m glad this resonated for you. Love Anu
My mother just returned her comment on your beautiful words and replied “OMG Love it” as do I…
Yes a dearly beloved one’s death is personal – and unfortunately we had three of them along like an unexpected arrival of delayed buses…
I hope you have found something lovely to get your teeth into… or not… the older you get the more you wonder why we got so “upset” over the things we did… these losses have really made me think…
Regards to you and your poetic thoughts
Keep them coming – I only discovered your blog today… I am already an ardent fan.
Sean (He of China’s Got Talent I, II and IV)
Please thank your mom from me. It must be a tough time for her at present but it gets better.
I’m on a break and enjoying it. Have no desire to rush into anything but when the time and people and the work is what i want – it will be all guns blazing 🙂 That’s how i want the next chapter to be.
Stay in touch and thanks for the encouragement 🙂