You amaze me. Your patience. Your ability to take shit and not die. Your desire to be everyone else’s dream come true. Your need to live up to everyone’s expectations. The fact that you have no expectations of your own other than being the perfect cook, best make up artiste, a veritable Kanjeevaram clothes horse and the ideal domestic negotiator of the most passive aggressive kind. Your martyrdom is legendary. Your tears forever threatening to slide down your heavily mascaraed eyes. Your ability to blindly trust and forgive those who have killed your spirit with mind games, taunts and proprietorial behaviour.
Your amenable acceptance of a sexless marriage, courtesy a misunderstanding with the husband, that keeps you both apart in the marital bed … sometimes for years. Your longing underscored with a haunting emotional track, kohl’d eyes and modest silence.
Your Gandhian principle of turning the other cheek when hordes of women in the family decide to become your enemy number 1.
Your incredible lack of awareness about politics, work, environment, money and the outdoors.
You are the superwoman of Indian television. What an icon you make! Your guileless ways and your tear filled eyes ensure you are always the tragedy queen struggling to surmount the hurdles your loved ones keep throwing your way. Yours is the story of an underdog who remains an underdog for the duration of the show.
Dear superwoman, I do hope you will venture out into the real world and gain acceptance as a smart, thinking woman. Real housewives across India are more substantive than the version we see on the screen. I hope you will not always have to transform into a naagin or a robot or a goddess to be taken a little more seriously or even to express the vengeful or angry side of your self. I hope one day you become like some of the real women in our country who fight for their place in the community and the country, who contribute to the nation’s economy, who fight for equality and carry their female tribe with them instead of undermining them every step of the way. I pray for your awakening. Step outside the box that has been defined for you. Take a deep breath. And make yourself heard.
Compassionately yours,
A mother of two young girls
Existential tête à tête 