Semicolon ;

People do not die from suicide, they die from sadness.

Anonymous

Sushant Singh Rajput’s suicide has deeply affected many of us. At a time when everyone is being forced to introspect and to face their demons, there is a feeling of fragility being experienced by many.  

It’s not just sadness. It is this feeling of connecting with a person standing on the edge of a precipice and trying to understand what he must have been feeling. Suddenly, you’re not sure of what you see on the surface. Suddenly, you realise that there is so much that goes on within that is unfathomable … an overwhelming sense of being adrift, lonely and forlorn. Driven to the point of stepping off a precipice.

Today, there is this big, urgent, unprecedented pause where everyone is flailing, trying to hold on to what they have always known but being compelled to release and let go. The vacant pause is becoming larger and the fog is still not showing any signs of lifting. The earth has tilted on its axis and nothing much makes sense anymore.

At a time like this, SSR has become a symbol of collective pain and collective consciousness. The question WHY reverberates and echoes. Again. Again. And again. Carrying with it millions of personal stories that have found a connection with this one act.

This pain that so many struggle with, disturbing and unsettling as it is, moving away from judgement maybe the first step in the right direction.

The New World is coming

Breaking habits is hard but with this months long, enforced lockdown and a broken economy we will all find ourselves moving towards some changes in our lifestyles and in our social and political structures. A few that come to my mind are :

Reducing the stress on over populated cities

Less global and more local

Building outlying satellite towns and making them autonomous and independent

Flattening hierarchies, helping rebuild smaller businesses

Adoption of a global digital currency

Kick starting our agriculture and farming on a priority basis

Investing in health care

Digital transformation will pick up pace. Simplifying tasks so they can be attributed to tech and robotics and thus free up time to innovate and create a new world order.

Appreciating and acknowledging the co-dependence between man and nature. Nurturing our planet and the environment.

Collaborations and task teams will take precedence over monopolistic leaders and organisations.

Most importantly, we will see global citizens rise in a wave against the existing inequities and work towards building a common future. As we can see the pandemic was the first blow to setting our house in order. War, injustice, hatred, apathy, divisiveness are all being aggravated. All that is negative is coming to the surface and showing us a mirror to our ugliness. It will eventually be replaced by a new world order but not before the planet and its people have paid a price to learn these lessons.

Beauty in tumult

Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamare dil mein hai. Dekhna hai zor kitna baazu-e-kaatil mein hai. (The desire to make a sacrifice is in our hearts. Let us see what strength there is in the arms of our executioner) Bismil Azimabadi

Today’s youth is impassioned, angry and awake. They’ve found a cause towards which to direct their energy. Righteous, patriotic, inclusive, fighting injustice … it’s a beautiful, heartwarming sight.

Today, almost 50% of our population in India is below 25 years of age. The average age of an Indian is 29 years. Imagine the sheer power we wield as a country!

Unwittingly, this power has been harnessed and is gradually unleashing its moral strength, righteous anger and indignation upon the leading lights of our nation. All it took was an encroachment into civil rights and constitutional freedoms.

To see them pouring out into the streets across India, choosing a path of restraint despite provocation, choosing to stand with their brothers and sisters, choosing unity and diversity … it is like witnessing an eagle take flight. Powerful and glorious.

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The Womb Speaks

For years I kept lining myself in anticipation of nurturing a living, breathing entity. Years went by but nothing happened. I kept lining and shedding … eternally hopeful … waiting, longing.

Somewhere the prolonged wait and hope soured into disappointment.

I have been withheld from following my natural course and the flush of hormones are beginning to get all mixed up and erratic. Soon the clockwork rhythm will stutter. Soon you will realise that it is the end of the road and there is no going back and I will remain unfulfilled this lifetime.

Despite my frustration and my feeling of rejection, I want you to know that I see your struggle. The world is a shitty place. Opinion, judgement and shaming are real and you are the one dealing with them. I’m working on my deep seated anger by letting go. I’m learning from you. Sometimes, you just take life in your stride and move on and find joy in what you have rather than what you don’t. And I have you.

lovingly,

your womb

The Unexpected

Life happens without warning. When everything is smooth sailing and there are a million plans waiting to unfold, lightening strikes and the storm has us in its thrall. When we look up, the landscape has changed. Forever. Irrevocably. It leaves you no choice but to accept, allow and take those painful steps forward hoping to steady yourself on the unfamiliar terrain.

It jolts us in to thinking about so many fundamentals. Bodies that we take for granted, people that we assume will always be there for us, health that will continue to keep us going in our ‘important’ assignments … inevitably, these realities change.

We must assess and appreciate today. What is so important that if it disappears we will be bereft/incomplete/inconsolable? We decide. We learn to savour it before it disappears. Like every transient thing in this world. Including us.